If i come over, it means nothing
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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