Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
