We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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