I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize