She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize