so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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