This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
this hospital has no fireball
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
