dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
