My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I CAN MOONWALK!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
how drunk are you?
Several
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
