Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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