Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
