She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
