I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
