is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You pole danced in your parka.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
