His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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