Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
