I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
