I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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