Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
