I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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