we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
