either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
