How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
