she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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