I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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