You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
