): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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