Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
