Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, beer. Big fan.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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