Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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