You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
