he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
