She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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