Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
