In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize