so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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