Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
