Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
