you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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