I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
