YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
