so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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