I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
