Banned from zoo.
Again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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