i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
