I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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