Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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