Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she told me i tasted like america
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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