Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
