i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
