now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
