Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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