Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
