My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to fling myself into the sun
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
