tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
