he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize