in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
