...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
